I am invins(c)ible...
can you see me?
05.04.2008
I have thought in the past that I am strong, and there are friends of mine who will be the first to give you anecdotes of just how strong I can be.
Now, I am thinking: how much stronger do I need to be to forget my teddy bear?
I want to change my mind, to tell him that I still love him, that I am willing to be enslaved by him and that I'm willing to accept whatever conditions he's gonna attach to this next 'liaison' that we may start on...
And yet I am happier now. In the way that I can no longer take his wishes into consideration and live a freer life (for want of a better word) and a life which can now live as I want. Live and let live. Laissez faire.
Though sometimes I feel pangs of this emotion which I have trouble naming... Not regret; and not loss either. Maybe he really is just one of my weaknesses... a weakness in the way I crave him. No particular aspect or trait he has; but him. Him in all his essence, in all his 'glory' and in all his follies. Crave him in the sense that his avoidance of me pierces the very marrow in me. My soul shrivels up under the scrutiny of his disaffection...
Posted by Nyx Angeli 12:27
